And The Oscar Representing The Most Real Relationship Goes To.....

Every year the Academy Awards are a big event at our house. We act as though we all have a personal stake in who wins, what movie gets what-silly I know. But it is fun, and it does encourage us to see a lot of movies. And sometimes the movies are provocative and cause us to reflect more on our own lives, what we cherish, what we take for granted. And when a theme or content is thought-provoking I credit the movie as being worthwhile, even if it isn't stellar.
For us, this year was a good year for movies. We found many of them to be engaging and "thought provoking." As Karen and I talked about the "year in review" it occured to me that three of them were based on relationships ranging over the generations-young (Silver Lining Playbook), middle-aged (This Is Forty) and senior (Quartet). Though all very different in many aspects, all had universal elements we could relate to. Silver Lining Playbook brought together a young couple, each challenged by their own troubled nature, finding a common basis for their friendship. They exchange favors and face a challenge that requires a commitment from each of them, carrying it to fruition is exhilarating as well as bonding. Experiences we can all relate to and appreciate. Accepting parts of difficult personalities but also appreciating and empathizing with each others similarities were also universal components of the film and of all successful relationships.
This Is Forty tackled a relationship in "middle age." Kids are getting older and the needs and time warp of infants and toddlers and now gone. The social scene that once may have propelled a romantic relationship has somehow died during those startup years of parenthood and getting a business going. Re-establishing a relationship with each other that has those elements of spontaneity, intensity and attraction are all issues that surface in this comedic movie.
Quartet is a poignant film that, amongst many other things deals with an estranged couple who rediscover each other at a retirement home for aged musicians.  Their love and attraction for one another never faded after their divorce, however their animosity for each other camouflaged their true feelings, even to themselves. Woven throughout the movie are themes of rejection, anger, misunderstanding and with-held emotions.  All elements that anyone involved in a relationship can relate to.
For us seeing movies are always an entertaining diversion. When they also encourage conversation, reflection and even self-discovery (either for oneself or as a couple) they are certainly worth the price of admission. And seeing them before the Oscars makes the show SO much more interesting- When I hear  "....and the Oscar goes to...." I actually know who they are talking about! Bring them on!

Have a Sand Blending Ceremony At Your Beach Wedding!

Sand blending from a wedding ceremony on Oceano Beach, just south of Pismo Beach, California[/caption]

Having a beach wedding can certainly inspire all kinds of unique ways to celebrate the event and make the ceremony extra special. One ritual that I can incorporate into your vows is  sand blending. This ritual utilizes three clear vessels, two of them (each filled with a different colored sand) symbolizes the bride and the groom, the third empty one will represent the union of the couple. Through careful layering of the sand during the vows the sand is alternately poured into the third container. The final layered result not only represents the joining of the couple but also becomes a beautiful memento of their very special beach wedding. Below is a video that details the ceremony more fully!

Reflections on Marriage, Memorials and Memories

Stones placed in the sand in the shape of a heart by memorial guests at Montaña de Oro, California 'RocNRev' Michael Taylor Presiding

I began 2013 presiding over a memorial service. Some might think this a depressing way to begin a new year. As I thought about it I realized for me it was not necessarily so.

A marriage begins with vows the couple takes; as a wedding officiant I get to be part of this beginning. I start couples on what I hope to be a wonderful path of commitment, growth and love, taking on different shapes along the way.  It is my hope that their wedding day is the first step toward a long, fulfilling, adventure filled marriage that can meet challenges, experience joy and is ever evolving, growing and renewing. To me this can be the definition of a successful marriage.

When a marriage ends because one partner passes away it is devastating for the one left behind.  The sadness and grief  the widow or widower has is of course beyond comprehension. However the reflection on their experiences as a couple, the hurdles they have mastered, the families they may have nurtured, are all successes that will never die. Together they have created a history and a life that will always be remembered, cherished and carried in the hearts of the survivors. And through the sadness and grief there can be some solace there.

As I preside over a memorial I am cognizant  of all these things and must remember the cycle of life. I recognize that with the joy eventually comes the sadness. I think this idea is extremely well stated in this quote by David Weatherford:
"We enjoy warmth because we have been cold. We appreciate light because we have been in darkness. By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness."

In this case we experience sadness because we have known joy. I reflect on how very lucky we are to have done so. For this reason I begin 2013 with a reaffirmation of life, marriage and commitment.

The Empty Chair-Montaña de Oro, California • 'RocNRev' Michael Taylor Presiding